Why Football is Better than Sex !


In 2008, a survey carried out by Canon in six European countries(1) came up with the remarkable result that 72 per cent of those asked said they would prefer 90 minutes watching their favourite team rather than an intimate evening with their loved one.

Isn’t this delightful?

A few reasons why women should like football more than sex:

Fashion girl in a sexy position with a soccer ballImage: Andresr (Shutterstock)
  • Because it takes 90 minutes
  • Because there are plenty of two-footed tackles
  • Because tired men are substituted
  • Because there are 22 men to select from
  • Because after 45 minutes men are ready to go again for another 45 minutes
  • Because there is no scoring without dribbling first
  • Because losers have to come from behind
  • Because the calorie consumption is higher
Sexy female couch squatting with football ball by her legsImage: OLJ Studio (Shutterstock)
  • Because after the final whistle no-one snores
  • Because it doesn’t matter if the children watch
  • Because leather feels much better than rubber
  • Because you cannot get pregnant
  • Because one can switch off if it’s boring
  • Because the first time doesn’t hurt
  • Because there are plenty of box-to-box players
  • Because men have to apologise for poor performances afterwards
Sexy soccer player / Sexy FußballspielerinImage: Andreas Meyer (Shutterstock)
  • Because there is always hope for extra time
  • Because shooting and scoring outside the box is common
  • Because no-one looks funny at you if you scream or shout during the action



…and why men find football better than sex:

  • Because cup sizes are always large
  • Because everyone cheers if it’s in
  • Because you do not have to call anybody afterwards
Sexy female sitting on a large football with red and yellow cardsImage: Zametalov (Shutterstock)
  • Because a penalty shootout involves at least another five shots at the box
  • Because it is easier to get the ball in the goal than a woman into bed
  • Because you can score more than once in 90 minutes
  • Because striking doesn’t lead to a divorce
  • Because positions constantly change
  • Because instant replays are available
  • Because you can have it daily
Sexy female dressed as soccer refereeImage: Jason Stitt (Shutterstock)
  • Because it is possible to attack from the right or left and not only through the centre
  • Because there are so many wonderful passes
  • Because one can also score with the head
  • Because the box is peppered with shots
  • Because you can watch it in a crowd without getting embarrassed
  • Because no numbers are exchanged afterwards only shirts
  • Because nobody complains if you keep your socks on
  • Because it keeps the wife constantly moaning

Is there anyone out there who still says that football is not better than sex?


(1) Countries surveyed: England, Spain, Sweden, Germany, Portugal and Belgium



Last Update: 20 September 2014

Categories:Curiosities & Oddities Jokes Obsession



2 Responses to “Why Football is Better than Sex !”

  1. Tony
    4 July 2015 at 2:26 pm #

    Of course,all joking aside,the main reason that football is better than sex is that while I can bet on who will win the Premiership next year I can’t bet on how many times my mate will get laid in that time.*

    *Not with any confidence that his figures are accurate anyway.

  2. Jonathan Stone
    25 August 2014 at 2:28 pm #

    I agree that Football is better than sex because it’s more active and makes you more energetic. Also, it’s great because it allows you to expel all your stress and tension without needing to be passionate at all.

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